DB..!

I wish that I could think of a better more "original" nickname for him, but he doesn't deserve one. He doesn't even deserve a cool nickname in my blog... thats bad.

I'm referring to a different "him" as many of you know. I've already described douche bag's status in my life with most of you, and you know my feelings on it. But for blog's sake, I should probably "let out my emotions on this one"....

After my interesting yet "distracted" date with Apple Man, I had a different date, with a hotter yet less intriguing member of the male species. DB was not continuously on his phone, but little did I know, someone was definitely on the other end of the line! And so it happened... dinner... drinks... more drinks... and soon we were home and definitely asleep when I woke to find his phone vibrating like mad on the floor of my bedroom. And so I laid there deciding my next course of action....

I couldn't resist.. and REALLY! I would have thought someone was CLEARLY dying had it been my phone blowing up like that. Well, needless to say... it wasn't someone dying. DB's ex-girlfriend... had called TWELVE times within the hour. And.....my heart dropped.

So, what should I have done? shut the phone and went back to bed.
But i'm female, NO WAY I was going to put the phone away without snooping through the rest! And so!

it was true... they were still hanging out. and not all of the text messages were of a material that I would publish here.

TIFFANY!! I called her... my good friend T, at 4 in the morning, to ask her what the Hell I was supposed to do next!

"Wake him up and make him leave!".... or " Text her back!... tell her she can have him back in the morning.." were her two best suggestions. Oh but no, not Megan Elizabeth, I have to CONSTANTLY be concerned about the feelings and welfare of others. I heard a quote once that I thought described me pretty solidly.

"You could slit my throat... and in one last gasping breath, I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt."

"But he's sleeping, I said to Tiff, I can't just wake him up and make him leave"...

REDONKulous! So I let him sleep. Ignored it in the morning, and allowed him to go about his day.

Until I couldn't anymore, at which point I told him that I had seen the messages and that I was hurt...
He answered by telling me that it was "my fault for reading through his phone while he slept" and then called me "drama".

HOW DARE HE! Right????

SO we don't talk for a couple days and he attemtps to reconnect with "what u up to"...
NOT gonna cut it! And haven't spoken to him since. Friday will be a week.

I didn't blog immediately following this catastrophe in my life for fear that I would say something I would regret. I needed time to "cool down" as I explained it to myself. And I have since come to the conclusion that I require a level of respect that was clearly not adhered to in the above scenario. And that although it was expressed to me that DB wasn't looking for a girlfriend in his life, there is a point at which you cut ties with old and move on to new, and clearly that is not happening here.

I've talked to many girlfriends about this situation, some of which are WONDERFUL at assuring me that I have every right to be upset and that I need to find someone "better"... but it's the one or two that caused me to reflect on the situation and really examine the actions we both took to determine whether or not it was really necessary to receive an "apology". Some hours of the day I decide they're right... he DID explain to me that committment was not a word he was looking to vocalize... but just the same, wasn't he in the wrong?

I fear that the DRAMA QUEEN in me escaped that night and went on a wild rampage to create something worth fighting about just to see how "willing" he would be to fix it.

All I know is that it hurts my feelings and took me almost a week to sit and blog about... that's got to me something.

Ladies?



Meg

P.S. Tomorrow i'm 26... yikes.